From the Book - First Simon & Schuster hardcover edition.
Introduction: How are you going to die?
Section one: Just another fat fuck. One-third the size of a cow dressed as an elephant ; Disco Doc and English voltage blood pressure ; Official permission to go crazy ; Enter CrayRay
fucking his brains out at the swing club while the celibate titter ; Joining the cult ; Maybe I've eaten enough great food
Section two: Losing it! 74.5 pounds in 83 days (0.9 pounds a day, 24.4% of body weight). It's just a goddamn potato ; Exercise
climb Mount Everest for butter ; Potatoes are really good ; Piss and spit ; Corn is candy ; From potatoes to the new year ; From New Year's Day to halfway ; You say "protein," I say "Fuck you!" ; A trip to the doctor
about halfway through cold and hungry ; From halfway to all the way ; Rare and appropriate
my trick for dieting without tricks ; From target to birthday ; You say it's your birthday? Well, it's my skinny birthday, too, yeah ; My new favorite foods birthday menu
Section three: Eating pizza is voting for Hillary. The disappearing magician ; Don't exercise (lose weight and friends) ; Tough guys don't dance ; Higher than a kite and sicker than a dog: not genetics
just a fat fuck ; Fuhrburger ; Unethical vegan? Plant hole? ; And, oh yeah, by the way
my hair fell out ; So, what the funk DO you eat? ; "I like food too much to eat like you" ; Time travel ; Food is god ; TV cooking ; Salt
more proof that there's no God ; Half-fasts ; That's not funny and it doesn't taste good ; Finally eating like a fucking hippie ; The healing power of prayer ; We ate like idiots, we need to diet like idiots ; Potato anniversary ; Dear Penn ; Withings blood pressure cuff
happy Valentine's Day ; Letter to the Globe after their lying article about my weight loss ; No, really what the fuck do you eat like normally?
